Recently, Dr. Mercola posted this awesome list that I just love! It is the top 10 things children really want their parents to do with them, from children around the world. The results remind me of the times my own Mom would do such things and made my life as a child so delightful.
Many moms today feel as if they are not good mothers unless they are racing around, shuttling their children from lessons to practices, and back to lessons again. What do you think matters most to your children? You driving them to lessons and practices? Or the smile and hug you greet them with after school?
If you guessed the latter, you are correct.
Children are incredibly wise and tend to see the world more simply than we do. Perhaps it is time we start taking their advice.
Here is a list of the top 10 things students around the world said they desire most from their mothers.
Come into my bedroom at night, tuck me in and sing me a song. Also tell me stories about when you were little.
Give me hugs and kisses and sit and talk with me privately.
Spend quality time just with me, not with my brothers and sisters around.
Give me nutritious food so I can grow up healthy.
At dinner talk about what we could do together on the weekend.
At night talk to me about anything: love, school, family etc.
Let me play outside a lot.
Cuddle under a blanket and watch our favorite TV show together.
It has been a few months since reading The Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith but since its contents are still resting on my mind, I thought it worthy to share its qualities with others.
As a unconventional home schooler as a child myself, I was very intrigued in this insightful style of learning when first hearing of unschooling a few years back. But I didn’t do much research because I had no children at the time. After our daughter Ani was born, the passion for learning was sparked in our house and I really wanted to know more about this “unschooling method.”
Its really quite easy to understand, at least it is if your main desire is for you children to learn well, enjoy learning and know how to learn. If your main goal is to compare your child with standards, fill up workbooks, have readers at age 5, and other conventional ideals then unschooling is really hard to grasp.
I love how Mary Griffiths shares with her readers that children as well and adults for that matter learn best when allowed to pursue their interests and curiosities in their own time frame and environment. Everyone has a natural desire to learn but tend to loose much interest when forced to learn a certain subject a certain way, within certain time frames and while sitting still. Unschooling makes the WHOLE world your classroom. No unschooling family matches another unschooling family in their use of books, crafts, science experiments, media, the great outdoors etc. As each child is different all families learn differently and at very different time tables. Some children who unschool will only master reading when they are 8 but the concept is that THEY mastered it because they wanted to and because they put forth the effort they mastered it well. Mary Griffith does an excellent job compiling first hand accounts from unschooling students and parents as well as helpful resources for those interested.
Parents and skeptics are worried that some children will just be plain lazy and never amount to anything if not forced to some degree. But according to Griffith and the many families who contributed to the book state that all children can really go only a short time before becoming uncomfortably bored with sitting around watching tv. Eventually all children run to activity, inspiration, discovery, and learning. Also, many claim that parents don’t have to do anything to help their children grow and learn when they unschool. But the truth is quite the contrary. The parent must be the facilitator and make the commitment to learn with the child. Curious questions from little voices can not be ignored even if the parent has no idea how to answer. The parent must be willing to search out the answer with their children.
The Unschooling Handbook has chapters on reading writing, math and science as well as a resource chapter and info on college bound youth. Griffith includes ideas from parents from all backgrounds as well as single parents. It is a fascinating and yet simple book that really ignites the passion for learning in the whole family.
From my own experience with unschooling so far I must say I am so impressed and inspired when I see its results. My daughter will be three tomorrow. We read tons of kids books from the library and I read chapter books out loud some nights while she listens. She draws endless pictures of people and animals. We explore outside when weather permits and visit our goats. There never seems to be enough puzzles in the house. We do watch movies on netflxi and youtube. We do crafts everyday and play together with her little babies. I spend many rest times telling her stories. In all of these areas I have not pushed or had ulterior motives, I simply exposed a few things to her to see if she was interested. What she shows interest in has changed a little every month and it is fun to see her blossom in new things. At one point I tried encouraging her to play with magnetic letters, teaching her sounds, but she wasn’t interested. So I let it go and kept the letters on the fridge. It is amazing now to watch her walk over a grab a letter, mention the name or sound after she sees it in a book I’m reading her. It amazes me when she grabs a book and pretends to read to me. And to top it off, a few days ago I saw she had drawn a bird and next to she wrote “Bid.” O have never taught her that bird started with a B nor have I ever taught her how to spell it. Somehow she took note of the word when it was associated with a bird. I look forward to the days ahead and will update our unschooling news as she grows.
This week a woman asked me if Ani (2 years) will be attending preschool this year. At first I was surprised that she would ask me something like that when obviously my daughter is a bit too young for mainstream public school. Then I realized she asked me because her own son who is 3 will be attending preschool this fall. She was so proud to share that he is ready for school, she just has to get him potty trained first.
Learning about trees
It saddens me to think how parents today can be so eager to get their little ones out of the house asap, learning from someone who is out of touch with the child’s character as well as placed into a room full of other little ones in the same shoes. Why are we handing our children off to someone else to “babysit” when what our children really need is guidance, attention, training, teaching, hugs, and praises from their guardians?
The excuse of money is so lame. “I have to work a part-time job, we can’t afford for me to stay home.” First of all shepherding our children is our most critical “job,” every minute with our child we are planting seeds, either good or bad. Someday those seeds will grow and bloom as weeds or beautiful flowers. It is up to us as parents to plant good seeds, our child’s life depends on it. Secondly, there are ways around not having to work, you just have to decide first that your children are more important than your house, car, clothes, food,vacations, TV, fake nails, magazine subscription, even your “tithe”. We live incredibly simple to most standards, everything in our house has been given to us, we can’t afford to buy things so we say a prayer, wait and sure enough it shows up sooner of later. We rent a dilapidated house, and could care less that is looks awful, being at home enjoying our family is more important to us then nice carpet, green grass, picture frames etc. I could go on and on, but then I would forget to write about my original point: teach your own child, do not pass them off to someone else.
So after thinking this over a great deal, I realized that Ani has been “in school” since the moment she took her first breath. Everyday she has been with our family she has learned a huge amount of useful knowledge and understanding. Here are a few samples of the life lessons Ani learns each day.
Tying her shoes, early on Ani showed interest in buttons, snaps, zippers and strings, so I thought tying shoes should be a perfect fit.
How to sew on a button, yep she will help me thread the needle and pull the needle on each stitch.
Why we have to water our plants, plants need light, water and air.
How to find shapes all around the house
Why chickens have gizzards to help them digest their food since they don’t chew.
How to chew with your mouth closed while eating.
How to fold washcloths.
Why bugs have antenas for smelling.
How to sign letters and find letters around the house.
Why onions need to be sauteed longer than garlic.
Where her food goes after she swallows.
How to ask for help instead of yelling and loosing control.
How important it is to be gentle to animals and babies. Which areas are best to pet and touch.
How electricity works like energy/food for appliances.
How to do jumping jacks and how to skip.
How some children have very little and need our help. Showing compassion.
Why we have to mix and fluff the compost pile for air circulation.
How to tuck the sheets under the mattress.
Oh the list could go on forever. One thing I try to remember is that Ani will be gifted in a few areas but less interested and talented in others. It is not healthy to compare our children to other children their age. Instead, really focus and encourage areas of interest, but also keep an open mind for new interests to arise. There are many aspects of life I have not yet covered with Ani, such as molecules making up everything we see, how government works, how to play baseball etc. But that is why it is so crucial and special that I have years, days, moments, minutes to share life with her and guide her footsteps.
No moment with our children is waisted time, just a seed waiting to germinate, grow and bloom!
Everyday I’m reminded of how amazing our children are. They bless us in so many ways it’s hard to think of anything else more rewarding than having them grow in your home!
Ani has such a soft heart and eager hands to share love. She cries easily when reprimanded or when her feelings are hurt or when there is too much stress in her midst. She will notice every tiny little freckle on your body and cover it with a kiss, thinking it is a boo-boo. Her own boo-boos are covered with her tender loving kisses as well as any scratches or tears on her doll. Sharing stories of the less fortunate or the hungry children around the world grabs her attention more than any new toy. Her touch is gentle and very well meaning. When kissing her Abba good night she hugs his neck and encourages me to do the same, always wanting me to give him a tight squeeze.
Little one playing dressup
Buttons, snaps, hooks and zippers are her absolute favorite toys. If you have a button on your shirt, watch out, she’ll unbutton and button you until the cows come home. I have to hide my bras because she’ll put one on and play with the hooks all day. She begs and sobs for shirts with buttons on while dressing her in the morning. She loves the smooth (she says: moosh) texture of each button and the exciting act of pressing them through tight holes. It will take her much time and effort to finally zip up her coat but she will do it at all costs without help.
Ani jumps and squeals when excited, which is usually when she finishes a button or hears we are going outside or when she made it to the potty in time. Oh and if the words “cocoa” are uttered. When music with a good beat is turned up she gets her grove on in no time, especially when half dressed.
Countless times during the day she makes me laugh and other times I can not hold back the tears. Her heart is so precious and thoughtful. She is so quick to remember something I tell her and such a dear to watch as she does her part in the family. She’ll wipe up her messes, because she knows where mama puts the rags. She folds all the washclothes even if it takes her an hour. And digging in the garden with mama is such fun…bugs are such fun to watch.
Oh I am truly so thankful for my little one. She really isn’t mine….she is her own little person growing up in our home and what a joy it is to be her trainer, role model, friend and mama.
My sister Hannah recommended visiting FreeRice.com and I finally took a peek today. Free Rice is a site made by the UN that is aimed at ending world hunger and providing education to all. It is simple really: if you answer a multiple question correctly from various subjects such as Math, Art, Language etc. FreeRice donates 10 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program to feed starving nations. Answering the questions becomes rather addictive especially when you see your bowl of rice filling up, all you can think of are those hungry tummies!
Check it out and excercise your brain while helping others!
I think playing a bit everyday would be a worthy routine to adopt. A proactive routine!
Ani has been doing great at going on her little potty. We only started several days back taking her cloth diaper off during the day and about the 2nd day she was already associated the “sensation” with running to the potty. I was pretty amazed how quickly she caught on. We did try to do infant potty training when she was 3 months but we moved and then moved several other times in between then and now making potty training quite difficult. She is 26 months now and only wears her diapers to bed and on shopping day. I want to start cutting out a few nursing sessions soon because she is still nursing between 7-8 times per 24 hour day. She really wets her diaper while sleeping because she is nursing so much. But it will all work out soon. At some point I know she will wake from her sleep and say “pee-pee mama!!”
Last year while living in the city, I said a little prayer asking for an older woman friend who would be a good influence and teach me all the “old ways”. Somone who I could look up to and glean important wisdom from.
Today, I think my prayer was answered. I met Grams. She is wonderful, her heart is precious, her mind is full of experience and her hands are gentle with years of crocheting, sewing, gardening, cooking laced within them. She experienced a strock a few years back but it really didn’t cling to her because she is a doll as far as I’m concerned. She said she will teach me how to crochet rugs, butcher roosters, how to can meat and vegetables and how to grow anything! Oh thank you Abba for giving me an older wiser mentor. Little one enjoyed her as well, especially the fact that she has dogs, cats, fish, horses, goats, chickens, geese, and ducks, oh my!
The two videos really convicted me to get back into the grove of spending quality learning time with my own little one. Recently my hubby, listened to a news clip on the radio stating how detrimental watching TV/movies can be for young people. Studies are now showing that if babies watchTV before the age of two the chance of ADD is frighteningly heightened. The truth is, is that more and more children are put in front of the TV on a daily basis. Many parents claim that they are watching “something educational” but who cares how educational it is, the TV blasts quick colorful images making the child less pleased something like”boring” reading. I noticed an striking difficulty in teaching Ani in a quiet sit down manner after she began watching more TV. However, when I have diligently spent time showing her how to fold laundry or the notes on a piano, she has caught on very quickly.
Anyways, back to my point, children are so capable (as seen in the above videos) if their parents are willing to take the time to plant seeds in their lives. Why do we think that learning to read should be done when a child is 6? Why do Americans suffer to learn proper English when children of other nations speak two and even three fluent languages? I believe that children can be taught far more if we as parents poured time and energy into teaching them.
So, now that I’ve been “nipped in the bud,” I really want to start teaching Ani how to sign, how to read, how to read music, how to dance, how to paint, how to swim, how to tie her shoes, how to play Frisbee etc.
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